Steps to Uncover Your Identity
I think we can all agree on one thing.. we all want something. So what is it we’re all searching for?
JOY!
Of course we all want to be happy. We want to smile and laugh. But that start with ourselves.
What do I mean by that?
A lot of times, we look for our joy to come from another person.
….I’ve done that….
What happened when they chose another substance over me? When they chose another person over me? When they left….
I became depressed.
There’s 2 things I did very wrong.
1.) Put my happiness in someone else.
2.) Put my worth in someone else.
You see, when you rely on your happiness being from someone else… They will fail us. Every time.
It’s not even fair to give them an expectation that they can’t live up to.
The only one who can live up to our expectations is Jesus.
This all falls under our IDENTITY
When you choose to make someone your source of joy, naturally they become our source of our identity.
Let me explain..
I had become so entangled with someone that I didn’t know how to act on my own.
If he wanted a day to himself, I thought he didn’t like me. If he (or anyone else) was rude to me, I became extremely upset. I started living in the spirit of offense. When drugs and other women were chosen over me, I felt worthless.
Then my mindset became… POOR ME.
So now here’s my identity rooted in: I’m offended, felt annoying, and worthless.
Geez! No wonder why I became depressed.
But hold up! That is NOT what God says about our identity. Let’s start by opening our bibles…
First off, God CHOSE us!
I’m sorry…What?? You’re telling me that THE GOD ALMIGHTY chose me??
You Betcha!!!
That’s how important YOU are!
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb…” Jeremiah 1:5
Side note: You’ll see me post this verse in multiple blog posts because I believe it is THAT important.
Not only that, but Genesis 1:27 says: “So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.”
Let’s think about this verse: He says twice that we are made in His image.
But holy moly, we constantly compare ourselves to societies standards… But hold up..
If we are saying we are too short, too tall, hate our nose, our eyes, our hair, etc. etc…
….But, we are made in His image…
What are we saying about God?
– Hmmm… Let that sink in –
When that realization hit me that I was insulting God, my attitude changed.
We are perfect!
Sure, we may want to shed a few pounds, or dress better.. that’s fine, our body is our temple and we must take care of it. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) But that’s not what I’m talking about.
Sometimes our “identity crisis” starts when we are children. Maybe you didn’t have the best home life… Maybe your parents attacked your identity with “you’re ugly”, or “you’re an idiot”, or “you’re worthless”.
Baby, those are Flat. Out. lies.
In fact, whose your daddy?! GOD
YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD!
John 1:12-13
“Yet to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God – children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
Naturally, as we get older we begin to date. Maybe one (or multiple) people cheat on you… Slowly you begin to believe the lie that you’re unlovable.
My dear, YES you are! You are 100% lovable just the way you are!
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them”
1 John 4:16
Have you ever told someone your dreams before?
Was their response: “lol, yeah okay… and I’m going to fly to the moon” (with their sarcastic tone)
It’s time to say bye bye to that person.
God has placed dreams in your heart. Dreams that sometimes nobody else will understand.
Ephesians 2:10 says: “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
LISTEN UP! If we have dreams that honor God and are His plan for our lives, He will equip us!
Don’t you EVER let someone tell you that you are not smart enough to do something! If it’s God’s will …say it with me….
He will equip you!
Now… What do YOU need to do? PRAY
Ask God for direction, For wisdom! Read the book of Proverbs my friend!
“Let the wise listen to the proverbs and become even wiser. Let those with understanding receive guidance.” Proverbs 1:5
Or maybe your identity has nothing to do with being rooted in other people. Maybe it’s rooted in your JOB.
Let’s rewind in my own life to roughly 2 years ago. I left being a hairstylist to work with kids again. (I was a nanny for years). I thought, welp, this must be it. I am meant to work with kids, that is my purpose in life.
I was 100% blessed by God to be promoted as quick as I was. Everything seemed prefect. I poured my whole life into who I was at work and what my goals were in the promotion – to not only taking care of the students, but to put an emphasis on taking care of the teachers.
Okay, now let’s fast forward roughly 2 years… The owners sat us down and said: we’re selling you. WHAT?! With that transition came A LOT of changes.. Not that they were bad, but it was going from family-owned to corporate-owned. With that just naturally comes with becoming more of a number than being extended family you care for, etc. etc. Then home life had a few adjustments that popped out of nowhere that same week. My husband and I had also just planned for another baby, and with so much uncertainty, that was swept from under our feet.
I went one week from knowing exactly who I was (or thought I was), to: WHO THE HECK AM I??
And I would love to say I just immediately turned to God, but that wouldn’t be truthful. I became a maniac! I was stressing about money, job security, the teachers being taken care of, my job duties drastically changing… and so on.
I became a “Negative Nancy”. I wasn’t fueling myself with God’s Word because in a way, I was angry. I was lost, and because I wasn’t spiritually taking care of myself, I couldn’t properly take care of the teachers.
I. Was. Lost.
I started to pray. It was slow at first. I was so exhausted from feeling worthless.. because of a JOB! Ya’ll, that’s wild!
But nevertheless, God heard me. He made me stronger every day. I cried, and I prayed for a few months. Then guess what?
He answered my prayers.
But here I am, still confused. I thought my purpose was to work with kids.
No… That wasn’t my purpose. My purpose is to help others. Guess what, I am in a position now where I am helping others… In a completely different way than I could have ever imagined. But you know what, if I never worked at that school and gained more managerial experience, if I hadn’t met the people I met there, I would not be where I am today. My purpose is not my job… My purpose is building people up, bringing them close to God, and helping people through my own struggles.
God has a PLAN for all of us. We are all HIS children, and He has not forgotten a single one of us.
Its God’s timing. We can’t always see why it feels like it’s taking so long (to us), but keep faithful. Keeping praying..
Do. Not. Give. Up.
Go to God for advice ya’ll!
Now, as you start to follow your calling.. you WILL have people try to condemn you for your past sins.
I get it. Oh trust me when I say I’ve been there… A lot.. It still happens.
Satan LOVES to remind you of your past so that you feel shame and you feel unworthy, stopping you from stepping into your God-given calling.
Ewww. Uh-Uh!
“For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.” Romans 6:6
Keep turning to God!
“But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.” 2 Thessalonians 3:3
Get in community my friend!
If your friends are the ones constantly reminding you of your past, or tempting you to be your past.. It’s time to move on.
If you don’t know where to start, join a small group at church! Be surrounded by people who lift you up! Correct you when you are wrong (according to God’s Word). Keep you accountable.
1 John 3:1 says: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him.”
Friend, I’m going to hold your hand while I say this…
You are so important, smart, beautiful, worthy, and loved.
Stop looking to others, or your job for your identity, and look to God. I promise, once you do that… you’ll start finding joy.
“Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be Holy and without fault in His eyes.” Ephesians 1:4
Remember…