Testimony – How I Became A Christian

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We all make mistakes. I’ve always loved Jesus but I didn’t truly know him until my mid 20’s. When I found Him I was as deep in the pits as you can go.

I was living in Los Angeles. Halfway done with beauty school, working full time, lined up with studios and salons to work with once I graduated, and engaged to someone I had been with for almost 3 years, I even started going to church and got baptized!

But Brittany, how was this down in the pits?

Well… Every night I got sleep paralysis. Then it turned into every nap.. I was terrified to sleep and I was exhausted.

(Side Note: If you don’t know what sleep paralysis is.. in my experience, it’s when you fall asleep but you can see the room you’re in still BUT there’s also a demon you can see too. Sometimes the demon is across the room, and sometimes they are sitting right on top of your chest. You can’t talk, you can’t move. It feels like you’re tied down and you try so hard to scream but no noise comes out.)

I was explaining to my friend at school what was going on as we were walking to our cars one night. She stopped and asked if she could pray over me. I said: “Absolutely, yes PLEASE!”

I’ll never forget her words: “Lord, I pray that whatever is giving Brittany sleep paralysis, that you get rid of it! Bring her peace….” She spent about 5 minutes praying over me but those words will stick in my head forever.

Soon after my friend spoke those words over me, my wedding was called off.

I saw this man who I thought was my best friend with clear eyes for the first time. He had another life that I knew nothing about. I was left heart broken and felt worthless. Then I lost my job. Then I lost my friends. I was depressed. I mean, a depression where you feel like you can’t go on, and don’t want to go on.

I. Was. A. Mess.

I decided to go to church more, but then I went out partying and clubbing more. I wanted Jesus’ love, but thought the temporary attention from a man was better. I desperately wanted a strong support system, I didn’t even realize how ugly I was being to my friends and lost almost all of them. Then I was fired from my job without explanation. -But I was being ugly… looking back I’m not shocked at all.

That saying: “Hurt people, hurt people.” 100% true. Unfortunately, sometimes we don’t realize it until all of the damage has already been done.

I had no more tears left, I felt like a burden to my family, I was done.

It’s interesting… When I googled ways to just “be done with it”. The internet tells you how horrible and selfish you are. At that moment in time, I already thought that about myself. It didn’t help me jump off the couch and go: “Oh the internet is right! Let me magically change my mind and be happy.”

So… I decided I was going to “go for it”. As I was about to, I heard a voice say:

“NOT YET”

Side note: If you EVER feel this way. You ARE so worth it! You are loved, I can promise that everyone would rather have you around than not. You are NOT a burden. You are amazing and have so much worth!

*For help you can call/text the suicide and Crisis hotline at 988*

It’s amazing how God speaks to people in a way they will understand AND listen. If I heard Him say, “don’t do it”… I would’ve just thought it was me and been done with it.

He knew I needed to hear “not yet”. I stopped what I was about to do.

In fact, looking back now I just picture Jesus holding my hand and crying with me.

I thought, well… I’m going to do advanced hair education in London! I don’t know how, but I’m going to apply for the program.

I even told my brother about my dream and he said he would co-sign for me to get a loan! I was shocked.

Now, just because I had a new found dream didn’t mean it was all better. I had to work at that. I kept catching myself breaking down over the next few days, so I decided to go get help.

I started therapy and made a commitment of diving into church.

Whoa! Talk about doing a 180!

Jesus gave me some amazing friends! I became a nanny to a sweet, sweet family. The mom brought me to her church and encouraged me to plug in, take their freedom course and start my healing journey. (We are friends to do this day! She moved to Texas after I did and we still get together – she even helped me in the hospital when I gave birth to my son!)

When I was graduating beauty school I decided to skip graduation and treat myself to a trip to Germany to see one of my dearest friends, Jennifer!

*Backstory: When I was still living in my hometown and young. Late teens I believe, I was kicked out. At the time I was cat sitting for Jen (whom I barely knew – from theater, we were doing a play together). I had to tell her what was going on because I didn’t think I would be able to watch her cats any longer – the closest place I had to stay at was my friend’s house 45 minutes outside of town.

I called her up and explained my situation. This girl had no hesitation.. She told me to move in her spare room! She heard the “whisper” of God telling her to have me be her roommate.

So I accepted!

That girl spoke Jesus over me for years She took me to her family’s church, that’s where I actually SAW Jesus for the first time. She’s the reason why my journey as a Christian even began!

Back to testimony: We had the best time in Germany! We even took a girl’s weekend trip to France!

It was amazing! I told her : “Jen, I think I need to move away from Los Angeles.” She asked the questions: where would you go? Don’t you have some great jobs lined up? Etc. Etc.

I told her New York or Texas. I was thinking London, but I think I rather just move and start a career in a salon. She said: “Texas. You’ll thrive there”

When I got back to LA from my trip I googled Texas (I’ve never been there before). I heard of Dallas, so I looked it up, and long story short.. I moved there 3 months later!

So sure, I’m “saved” but I still had no relationship with Jesus. (We’re almost there, I promise.)

I met a great friend group that loves Jesus and brought me closer to Him when I moved, but I still didn’t fully understand the love of Jesus.

Let’s just say, God knows if I’m going to listen, He is going to have to do something drastic.

(I’m working on it!)

My boyfriend and I of that time were supposed to move in together (it was before I knew Jesus, okay). Well, 2 weeks before we were supposed to move in he started ignoring me. Then a week before, we broke up.

Exactly a week later

My dad and I had a huge falling out. I mean, HUGE! My best friend that I went to for everything..

I was broken.

Some time after that I was talking to my brother and he was talking about how our dad had just moved out of Texas… WHAAAT??.. I had no idea.

Even though we weren’t talking because of this huge blow up over a miscommunication, (It needed to happen.) I fell to my knees SOBBING and praying as hard as I could.

Then I heard God: “Now you can focus on ME, your Father”

Woah. My mindset from then on CHANGED. I fell in love with God! I was able to see the many times where He saved me throughout my life. I even swore off dating. And no sex till marriage.

God needed me to FOCUS on Him. He needed me to open up to Him. To run to Jesus when I needed advice. To let the Holy Spirit fill me and guide me.

I wouldn’t be able to do that if I was just running to everyone else.

Eventually my dad and I made up and he is the best dad and grandpa I could ever imagine having! God just needed me to focus on Him for awhile.

That whole blow up even led me to my husband! Gus and I were friends for about 1.5 years, and when I was going through all of that he directed me towards God! He gave me my first bible, would send me worship music and check on me throughout the day…

God always turns the bad into good!

We made it ya’ll! If you are still here, thank you for sticking around. I appreciate YOU taking the time to hear about my testimony and the grace and mercy of God in my life.

Don’t get me wrong.. Yes I am saved, but I do “fail” all of the time. That’s why it is SO important to stay in His Word, and be surrounded by God fearing people.

It’s easy to get caught up in the negative, the drama, the gossip. I easily even get caught up living in the spirit of offense if I’m not careful with who I’m looking to for reassurance.

(Tip: we should only be looking to God.)

If you’re just starting your walk with Jesus and you feel like you’re living in a dumpster fire.. just remember that sometimes we have to “burn up” our old life to start a new one.

Open up your bible, and get some God fearing friends! I’m always here for you!

Remember, God’s Got You